Why I practice queer-affirmative therapy?

Hi all! My name is Keen Ji (he/him). I’m a licensed and registered counselor, psychology lecturer, and HRDC trainer. Across all my work, I strive to include queer-affirming practices to create a more inclusive space for my clients, students, and learners.

Why is this important to me? Well, growing up, I’ve always felt different from most of my peers, in terms of my personal identities, expressions, the way I think and feel. I never felt a sense of belonging in school, which was a highly hegemonic and heteronormative space. It was difficult to fit the mold of what society thinks a boy should be.

In secondary school, I often see my male peers enjoy doing “masculine” activities. For instance, they enjoy roughhousing and playing sports like football. I couldn’t relate to any of them. I felt lost and lonely because there’s no blueprint for someone like myself growing up. But I wasn’t entirely alone. I found others like me, those who are somewhat different from the ‘majority’. I’d often think of us as ‘outliers’. Still, I felt like I missed out on years of my adolescence. And I know that many other ‘outliers’, notably queer people feel the same too.

To all my fellow ‘outliers’, I see you. I see your pain of feeling invisible, your tiredness of constantly performing for society, your frustration of leading a double life, and the agony of being forced to choose between self-abandonment and belonging. I also admire your tenacity, boldness, and strength. Still, I know that some, if not most of us don’t want to be strong, we just want to feel safe. Safe enough to be who we are without being persecuted for it.

Fast forward to the present day, I am now a licensed mental health counsellor. And I carry with me the pain and trauma of living in a world, and more specifically, a country that wasn’t made for people like me in mind. As a counsellor, I have seen a lot of queer clients, many of whom have experienced the same struggles that I did. Sadly, many of them have encountered mental health practitioners who are completely uninformed about LGBTQ+ community and issues.

So yes, the work is personal. I’m doing it for myself. But more than that, the work is also systemic – its bigger than myself. I’m also doing it for those who are excluded from the mainstream, the ones who are not given a seat at the table.

Happy Pride Month 🌈

Written by Keen Ji, licensed counsellor. To learn more about me, check out my Therapist Profile.