At some point, you might have considered booking a therapy appointment but kept delaying it. Perhaps, you don’t think your issues are serious enough to warrant therapy. Maybe you’re hoping your problem will eventually resolve on its own. Or perhaps you want to save money and handle things on your own as much as you can.
Knowing when to see a therapist can be hard. Should you only seek therapy when you’re overwhelmed and can’t handle life anymore? Or should you start the moment you notice repeated signs of distress within yourself?
As a rule of thumb, start early! But also, it’s never too late to start! Imagine you have a physical wound, but you leave it to heal on its own, thinking it’s not severe enough to see a doctor. But what if it’s not healing and the wound becomes infected? That means it’s time to seek professional help. The doctor will examine your wound, clean it, maybe stitch it up, then prescribe antibiotics. Ultimately, the wound might take longer to heal compared to if you went to the doctor earlier.
Similarly, leaving your emotional wound unattended for too long might delay the healing process. But unlike physical wounds, emotional wounds are harder to identify. Sometimes, people may not even realize their mental health is worsening. Here are some signs that indicate it might be beneficial to see a therapist.
You’ve tried everything you can, but nothing changed
You’ve read the self-help books and listened to the podcasts. You’ve practiced mindfulness meditation, talked to your friends, did the breathing exercise, etc. Still, you find it hard to regulate your emotions or change your unhealthy behaviors. E.g., you still can’t help but have angry outbursts at work. Or you can’t stop doomscrolling although it’s raising your anxiety level.
Change is hard! When your own efforts to change aren’t enough, it might be time to see a therapist. Therapists are trained to help you understand why you keep behaving or reacting a certain way, and compassionately guide you towards change.
You’re overwhelmed and don’t know what to do
Everything feels hard and you just want to give up. You gave yourself some time to rest and do nothing. But you still feel tired and burned out, which is affecting your life. E.g. you’ve exhausted your annual leave, stopped checking your messages, left the dishes in the sink for days, etc. You’re lost and simply don’t know what to do next.
This is a sign that you should see a therapist! Therapists can help you organize your thoughts better when there’s too much on your mind. They’re trained to guide you out of the maze you’re stuck in and figure out the next steps to take.
You have recurring symptoms and can’t bounce back
We all have ups and downs. But sometimes, we might be down longer than we thought. You tried managing your symptoms, but they keep coming back. E.g., the ruminating thoughts return even stronger, you fall back hard into your old habits, you’re in your depressive spiral once again, etc.
Life knocks you down and this time, its harder to get back up. This means its time to see a therapist! Therapists can help you with recovery and getting back on track.
You no longer feel joy or any other pleasant emotions
Life feels mundane and no longer enjoyable. You’re just moving through the motions of the day without joy, excitement, or pleasure. You may not be terribly depressed, but you’re not happy either.
Sometimes, it may be due to emotional numbing in order to survive adverse experiences. When you numb the unpleasant emotions, you numb the pleasant ones too. Or it may have something to do with your childhood experiences, which may have taught you to feel guilty for having fun.
Therapists can help you identify the reasons for your lack of joy and gradually reconnect with joy.
You can’t stop using unhealthy coping methods
You might find it hard to stop doing something despite knowing it’s bad for you. Eating junk food, using drugs, drinking alcohol, or social media addiction are all coping methods that help in some ways, usually short-term. However, they may lead to mental health decline, especially in the long run.
Its hard to get out of the self-sabotage cycle. Therapists can help you break the cycle by identifying the reasons for using these coping methods, and replacing them with healthier ones.
You have unhealthy relationships
You lack trust in your relationships (family, friends, romantic). Maybe you’re the people-pleaser at work, or the ‘angry one’ in your family which drives them away. Or perhaps, you’re stuck in an abusive romantic relationship again.
You may feel helpless to change your behavioral patterns in your relationships. Therapists can help you shift those behaviors and show up in your relationships in a healthy way.
You don’t know yourself
You may go through life not really knowing why you made certain decisions or reacted a certain way. You rarely have opinions on anything. Generally, your identity might feel like a big mystery to yourself.
You tried to understand why you thought, felt, or behaved a certain way, but you can’t figure it out on your own. Therapists can help you connect the dots and fill in the missing puzzle pieces of your identity.
Taking the first step towards therapy can feel daunting, especially if you’re unsure whether your struggles are “serious enough.” But you don’t need to wait until you’re at your breaking point to seek help. If any of these signs resonate with you, consider reaching out to a therapist. Thanks for reading!
Written by Keen Ji, licensed counsellor. To learn more about me, check out my Therapist Profile.
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